How To Explain Self Harm Scars To Children
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6 Apr Trigger Warning: This post contains a detailed account of self-harm in the form of cutting. When I was 15, I regularly cut myself. I engaged in this self-injurious behavior to to ease the stress that I was under — it was a way of hiding and not letting other people see me struggle. I had taken on rigorous. 6 Apr Much like, if someone had left depression pills out in the open for all to see, I would assume they were attention seeking. If I got to know them very well, and then I accidentally saw some scars, it would be very different, and I would take it seriously. People who seriously have problems with self harming don't. Artificialsextoys, we're dedicated to providing the best harm dating self scars service. Were filed in the last hookupsguide.info?p=chinese- japanese-dating-uk years online is a dating system based on your unique personality. Glass window in harm scars self which to be a benefit to sick or disabled people.
Would you like someone you're seeing to warn you about their old self-harm scars? I have some self-harm scars from when I was younger. Most of them are on my stomach, so nobody really knows about it until they see me without a shirt, but they're still very thick and noticeable.
I never know the best way to minimize impact when explaining it to whoever I'm click here. It seems like it would be a little cruel for me to just spring a bunch of scars upon a guy I'm fooling around with without any warning.
What I'd really like to communicate is that I'm not a loose cannon. I would never threaten to do it again as a manipulation tactic, but I'm afraid that people will think that I must be unstable and manipulative. I'd prefer to get this across while still going into as little detail as possible.
I started self-harming when I was very young because it made me feel like I had control over my body during a time that I was being sexually abused. This is still a very sore subject. I don't want to have to explain it every time I'm getting frisky with someone, but at the same continue reading I want to make it clear that I'm not going to suddenly start cutting myself.
If you were casually hooking up with someone, would you prefer that she warn you about scars before you see them? If so, how would you like to be told?
Or would you rather just pretend like they're not there? If you were seriously dating someone, how and when in the relationship would you like to be warned about self-harm scars? Self-harm scars--how can I communicate that I'm not crazy?
How would you like to be warned about them beforehand? Thanks for all the responses so far. Just to clarify, I'm not really asking about whether you would or wouldn't date someone who used to self-harm.
Some people are going to be comfortable with that and some aren't, and that's okay. I'm just curious about how you would want to be told about them. My friend always said she was mauled by a bear, or attacked by ninjas. She would eventually tell close friends and SOs, and by that time people knew her well enough to not jump to conclusions.
I knew a guy who had "FEAR" carved into his arm, along with a bunch of other scratches, big ones too. I think giving the scars an outrageous story let's people know you don't want to talk about them, without making it awkward. Understand this is me, and it's probably not what you want to hear. My views on individuals that self harm very much is colored by my work med student, currently on a psych rotation, trying to match in a emergency medicine residency. People, don't downvote because you disagree with this person's beliefs.
That's not what the voting system is for. You make some valid points, and being aware of the mental state of someone who you're planning to spend a significant amount of time with is obviously justified.
However, I do think that your conclusions are too general and harsh. With regards to 2: The lack of coping skills you mentioned is definitely Hookup Someone With Self Harm Scars that can occur.
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I have seen several such examples and as a result, I'd prefer not to date someone who has unresolved issues. However, judging on that simply by the sight of scars is too harsh IMO.
I have some experience with this so Ill tell you how I see it. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. I value honest communication very highly, but that's just me. They're a part of me now, people can think I'm attention seeking or they can just get over it and get on with their lives.
You will definitely see the coping skills of a person early enough to decide whether they are compatible or not. I have a close friend who recently told me that she used to harm herself and now, under stress, has begun to do so again. However, I didn't have to have her tell me that or see her scars to come to the conclusion that she can't handle certain situations.
There were numerous examples that had led me to the same conclusion before. As an aside, she has not received any treatment at all and that might be her greatest problem. I wouldn't say time is an indicator for stability at all.
Follow 14 I would hook up. If you're in boat 2, then I'd still want you to be candid with me. Fallen Follow 3 followers 15 badges Send a private message to Fallen.
You said it yourself in this sentence:. I've witnessed people who have been good for a long time fall back into their self-destructive behaviors when shit go here tough. You have to see people in that kind of situation and that may come after a week, a year or a decade.
Relapses don't happen randomly, they have reasons and triggers. After all, I'd like to throw in a last argument against excluding people with mental health issues from your dating pool: I have dealt with some issues, some of visit web page I've talked about on reddit.
Others I haven't and probably won't mention on here. However, I can deal with pressure a lot better than a majority of my peers.
It boils down to "I have seen harder shit than what happens to me and them right now and I've learnt from it ". I Hookup Someone With Self Harm Scars know a single person who can calm down people like I can.
I can make them focus. I am often asked for advice, because I'm honest and perceptive. I have a more detailed view and opinion on many things than most people who are considered healthy. And fooling me is significantly harder than fooling the average person.
I don't say that because I want to brag, but because I have seen it around me, in peers as well as mentors: Mental illness is an experience that can indeed leave you stronger, wiser and more stable than the people around you. It's a hard journey and one that not everbody makes to the end. But if you make it, those who have never Hookup Someone With Self Harm Scars it at all are most definitely not those who have an advantage over you. And that is reason enough to not exclude everyone with visual signs of said baggage.
Judging from other signs, from people's behaviour, is a completely different thing, obviously. It's not cruel or "springing on someone" having scars. You may need to have a neutral explanation for a hookup who has concern for you over them. Also how you overcame it. I'd think there's a lot to talk about when the relationship got serious, and how early might depend on the amount of time between then and now.
I think as you show you are comfortable around your SO, and are emotionally stable their fear of your hurting yourself will subside. I don't know if people would default assume you are crazy or still do that unless you show evidence of instability. If you have other concurrent factors, like taking meds for depression, it might be rougher.
I do think people will start off believing the best though. My advice for what it's worth. As others have said, casual is casual. No point in letting anyone know. I'd answer honestly if asked, but briefly. Maybe just lie even, if you're not going to see them again, why not make Hookup Someone With Self Harm Scars a story? If I have been seeing someone, whenever she felt comfortable to tell me.
It is a part of who you are, of who you were. Shit gets dark sometimes and we all click what we have to to get by.
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I don't judge people for who they are. Some people might, but in my honest opinion those people can go fuck themselves.
I enjoy exploring my partners body. Learning and finding everything about them. Every inch of their body is sexy. Everything they're insecure about.
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Scars wouldn't bother me. But then again, I'm probably just as fucked up. I see self-harm on the same level as alcohol or drug use, it's a shitty way to cope with things but something you can work through. I would only care if it was recent, but I would eventually like to know the story behind it. I don't warn about my scars, but if I notice someone looking at them I pretty much just shrug and say "fifteen year old me had a lot of feelings". Gets across that it was in the past and shouldn't be a big deal to anyone now.
You convinced me that you're not crazy and have control over it, get in that zone before easing into the fact that they are there and showing them. And who knows, it might turn him on. I'm sure I'm an exception to the rule, but I sympathise quite strongly with people who have engaged in self harm.
It's such a personal thing that I would never impose my personal feelings on someone or force them to stop or feel Hookup Someone With Self Harm Scars. Because of my personal relation with them, I actually find them to be somewhat erotic, a tendancy I know to be unhealthy. But I see it as a visual way of looking into the strong emotions someone has felt in the past.
And honestly, that represents to me a lot of things, but just affirms a sense of humanity in that person, and is something I would never begrudge them for. Just know that life takes all kinds. Do what you're comfortable with. If you are okay with your past, be honest.