#1 20-Year-Old Versus Thirty-Year-Old: Pregame
34 year old dating 20 year old -very confused. December 8, AM Subscribe. 34 year old guy dating 20 year old girl - "robbing the cradle?" So I'm actually the 20 yr old asking here, but I just wanted to get your perspectives on what may be going through the older guy's head because he is very conflicted He works. 13 Mar whats the vesti think? Is this weird? I know she thinks it is lol. 5 Feb I have a friend who's been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her. He's old and sick now, and she takes care of him (even financially), but she's still partying and sleeping around. Obviously, he doesn't know. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had.
He works in the industry I will be working in after college and we met that way.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man
I had always been interested in guys older than me but http://hookupsguide.info/hi5-dating-site/31453145o-dating-31453145o.php 14 years older so he made the first move and asked me out.
We went out to dinner a couple of times in February and things were great: Part of this is because I'm still a virgin. In contrast, he is very much not and has had lots of sexual relationships both casually and in long term Dating A 20 Year Old Man his last one was 4 years-they broke up bc he did not feel comfortable with marrying her. Because of this, he often and very bluntly expressed interest in becoming sexual with me and at one point early into the relationship said he needed something more and I said I wasnt up for it so we split briefly because of that.
By briefly I mean he immediately regretted his decision because he started texting and asking to meet up only a couple days later. The issue is that these brief "breakups" have been common since February but for different check this out and we always get back together very quickly.
We text everyday when we're together and when we're broken up we still text every days he initiates mostly. Honestly its gotten to the point that if we havent talked in 2 days I feel weird.
He has since the first "I need more" breakup expressed that he does want more but has never pushed me.
so there's a 42 year old guy dating a 20 year old in my community | IGN Boards
During the summer, he asked me if I wanted to be in an relationship with him. He says everyone he's asked to be in a relationship with, he had a similar long term view. This doesn't make sense as he's only had 2 long term relationships Dating A 20 Year Old Man. Does looking at relationships this way make sense to others here? I want to be in a longer term relationship with him maybe 2 years but I can't see anything Dating A 20 Year Old Man unless after the two years I think he is "the one".
He recently said he couldn't be with me fully because he thinks "I'm still evolving and he doesn't want to influence me while I'm still growing" "He is so torn because he really likes me but doesnt think this is the right time for us and would rather wait until I'm older" The hard part is he says he would feel better when I'm 21 and infinitely better when I'm He also says he might be wrong and "despite my being confused, I really care about you and would prefer you happy over stressed" and that "full contact doesn't feel right but no click here isn't right either" So it click like he's stringing me along.
I guess before it was more of a speedbump now its like a brick wall or mountain in the middle of the road. He is convinced that if we were together now "I would hate him 5 years down the road for influencing me and taking the best years of my life" Can anyone shed light on these feelings? After all of his blunt interest in the past, all of a sudden "he doesn't want to be the guy to take my virginity. Before he preached about "strong feelings" and "love down the line" and I know he's told some of his family about me who seemed to have been supportive.
How could someone who talks about that completely flip flop to "I can't see you anymore because if I do I know I won't let you go"? It doesn't make sense because I used to stay over at his place all the time It doesn't sound to me that he is behaving particularly badly It sounds as though he likes you but is aware of the difficulties above. As the more experienced party it is not surprising that he is more alert to those.
He sounds conflicted but it doesn't sound as though this has much of a future. One of the advantages of dating people your own age is that they are more likely of course, not guaranteed but more likely to have had reasonably similar levels of experience and levels of interest in commitment as you. It seems like both of you are kind of looking at a relationship as a contract, which to me is a strange way to approach the topic.
Assigning a length to a relationship that hasn't even started yet seems to be overthinking it. I am an older guy and have had some experience with younger women.
That kind of instant, novel excitement turns younger women on more than cocaine or money. Older and hotter isn't common but they exisit are so insecure about aging that game works extra well. And FFS get enough sleep. These strong emotions can be gotten for little money, all you need is a little planning. It doesn't really sound like a healthy relationship to me; he sounds as if he's taken on something of a paternalistic role, which is almost guaranteed to lead to a messed-up dynamic.
In my view, women under this is of course a vast here still too young to know their emotional Dating A 20 Year Old Man fully. That said, I married a young woman, 29 years my junior.
We are now on our 29th year of marriage, with two great children from our union. I was in your situation 30 years ago. It is not meaningful to "regret" your life, but now that I have the opportunity to advise someone with almost exactly the same questions and choices, I really want to say: He is in a very different place in life from you, and he doesn't seem very mature.
The dirty rule is as follows: Apart from that, I don't enter into relationships with preconceived ideas of length, generally, so all that discussion struck me as weird. I do think that I personally matured a lot from or thereabouts, so I understand the "not fully evolved" bit and think there might be a read article there. I'm not even gonna touch the sex issue, though -- when and with whom you choose to have sex is your decision and your intended partner's, of course.
Overall, I have to say that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
As such, that scare tactic sentence is Trumpian in its falseness. This guy knows better. The reason we rarely talk about this angle is that the moment you put it out there, every autistic blue piller in recovery thanks to TRP is instantly going to be on that bandwagon. It's much more a challenge for the woman than people think but I believe worth it, for me at least.
You ought to be able to find someone without all these issues and mini-breakups. Good luck to you. As a 21 year old, I went out with guys 11 check this out Dating A 20 Year Old Man than me.
In hindsight, and with the perspective of more experience, I was manipulated. Not much, but it was there. My daughter is a very emotionally and otherwise intelligent 20 year old who is also a virgin, and I would not be happy for her, if she entered a relationship with a 34 year old at this point. I believe she deserves to have someone at her level, with her popular cultural background, who she can have as a friend as well as a lover.
An older man is fun, and exciting, and interesting, but my opinion, for what it's worth - not for your first. Especially if he's conflicted. Are there circumstances where that age gap could work? But not when you're a virgin. Believe people when they tell you who they are. This guy is telling you in 5 years time, you'll hate him. I think there's a part of you that wants to help him and persuade him that you'll never believe that, and prove to him that he's a good guy.
Actual good guys don't do that, they're just awesome. There are power dynamics with such a large age gap - these are in his favour.
The fact he wants that to be your problem not his is a massive screaming red flag. It sounds like he's giving himself a list of excuses so if he does hurt you, he can persuade himself he warned you.
Listen to his warnings. So I'm actually the 20 yr old asking here, but I just wanted to get your perspectives on what may be going through the older guy's head because he is very conflicted Actually, this guy doesn't sound that conflicted anymore.
Yes, he had been sending you mixed signals in the past. But right now, he seems to be clearly expressing that he does not want to date you. I think you need to move on from this one. If he can't enthusiastically get his head around dating you for whatever the reason, you deserve better. Between 20 and 34 you will change a lot hell, you'll change a lot between 20 and But by 34, he is pretty much where he's going to be.
The worry with age gaps like that is it's very easy for the much older person to unduly influence the growth and development of the younger person, whether conscious or subconsciously, because the younger person is so very malleable at that point. It would be hard for anyone his age who's been sexually active to not pressure you, simply because they're so accustomed to having sex. He's been having sex, legally drinking if you're in the USliving independently, all of that for years.
He has definite ideas of how he likes to do things and what he wants. Because he's sure of these things and you're not it is kind of inevitable that in some way you're going to be heavily influenced by him. If he was extremely inexperienced in relationships himself this would be a little easier since you'd be thinking about these things together. That's not the case. This does not mean you should be ready to Dating A 20 Year Old Man sex and shack up.
I think you should move on and it has nothing to do with the age gap. He wants a long-term relationship, you aren't ready for that yet. He broke up with you for not being ready for sex yet. And he already isn't sure about the relationship because of your age. And he's uncomfortable with taking your virginity. From your post it sounds like he just doesn't http://hookupsguide.info/hi5-dating-site/55535553x-dating-55535553r.php right about dating someone 20 years old and his concerns seem legitimate to me.
There's nothing wrong with dating someone older IMO but this gentleman isn't the older person that you want to be dating. Age issue aside, it sounds like he is trying still trying to pressure you into sleeping with him by playing hard to get so you ultimately are the one who physically initiates. Also, it sounds like he has been preparing you for when he loses interest once he does succeed.
I think he's being selfish and doesn't have your best interest in mind. He wants to do right by you; he doesn't want to make false promises to get into your pants. This has become increasingly true as he's got closer to you. He isn't entirely clear on what you're waiting for. Maybe you're waiting for a serious expression of commitment from him. But he's getting near the limit of what he can promise in article source faith.
Maybe you're waiting for something he can't offer, but you haven't worked that out yet. Maybe you want a disney prince charming or a calvin klein model to light an instinctive fire in your loins. He figures if that was going to happen it would have happened by now.
Maybe it's something else or you aren't sure what you want. If it's 2a or 2b he figures if he persuades you to lose your virginity to him he'll be short-changing you - that you'll be thinking well, I was hoping for more, but I might as well settle for this guy.
He doesn't want to do that Dating A 20 Year Old Man of 1.