How Has Judge Lynn Toler Seen Divorce Change?
How 'Divorce Court' Saved My Marriage | HuffPost
31 Jan TV judge is just another Mesa mom sort of, If anyone asks, Lynn Toler of Mesa says she's a stay-at-home mom, but turn to Channel 10 (KSAZ) at Toler laughs. She's curled up on the couch in her living room with her bare feet tucked beneath her. She and her husband, Eric Mumford, and their boys. 30 Apr Who is Divorce Court's judge Lynn Toler's husband? Is she married? Photos and pictures of Judge Lynn Toler's husband?. 5 Sep By Lynn Toler. As the judge on “Divorce Court,” I am familiar with, if not inundated by, the thematic mistakes made in marriages. Yes, I know the show is a bit extreme, voyeuristic, and, well, often a little silly, but when my husband and I were staring into the marital abyss, I learned a valuable lesson from.
As the judge on "Divorce Court," I am familiar with, if not inundated by, the thematic mistakes made in marriages. Yes, I know the show is a bit extreme, voyeuristic, and, well, often a little silly, but when my husband and I were staring into the marital abyss, I learned a valuable lesson from "Divorce Court" that helped me out at home. I learned this particular lesson from couples who couldn't figure out how they had gotten to "Divorce Court" in the first place.
They had marriages that went awry in such small increments they didn't know what had happened. But before me they were forced to compress years' worth of trouble into a short presentation. Each telling me a different story the other was usually surprised to hear, they often found that they were coming apart not because one Is Judge Lynn Toler Husband White both were read more, but because of unexamined needs.
Seeing that scenario play out before me over and over again helped me figure out what was going wrong in my own home.
How 'Divorce Court' Saved My Marriage
By year 19, my husband, Big E, and I were off article source road and deep in the weeds. Barely speaking, when one of us walked in a room the other would walk out. He was angry and unhappy and he saw me as the source of both. I, on the other hand, saw him as a jerk, a man who cared nothing for my needs. Of course, as I eventually learned at work, we were both wrong.
It was, instead, that unexamined need thing that had taken us off the road. Having become a father at 19, my husband married his first Is Judge Lynn Toler Husband White and had four children by the time he was As a result, he never got to do as he pleased because he did so much for others. When he looked at me he saw new and unencumbered.
Judge Lynn Toler Net Worth - biography, quotes, wiki, assets, cars, homes and more
He saw me as the first installment in a lot of choices he was owed. I, on the other hand, was raised in a house that rocked and rolled on the rhythm of whatever was wrong with Dad. Daddy was a brilliant, principled man who loved his family.
He was also bipolar. Stuff was jumping off at my house all of the time and you never knew when or why.
I'm up for a little problem. I, on the other hand, was raised in a house that rocked and rolled on the rhythm of whatever was wrong with Dad. Yes, I know the show is a bit extreme, voyeuristic, and, well, often a little silly, but when my husband and I were staring into the marital abyss, I learned a valuable lesson from "Divorce Court" that helped me out at home. She volunteered with organizations that worked to help the mentally ill and women just released from prison. That's when I saw all click here the small stupid things that landed us where we were.
When I looked at Big E, I saw stable, safe, and secure. Once we married, however, every time E didn't get his way it was another drop in a bucket of sacrifices that was already full. By being click to give me the children I sought -- which, when you think about it, is huge -- he took everything else off the table.
Any desire I had that didn't match his got me a little static. That would all have been well and good had I responded correctly.
But Toler gets e-mails from all over the country from people thankful for her advice. Any desire I had that didn't match his got me a little static. I had two nervous breakdowns by the time I think I was 12 - mom's not quite sure. Seeing that scenario play out before me over and over again helped me click out what was going wrong in my own home.
Though E was just ordinary, everyday annoyed about things, I didn't see it that way. Even the mildest objection he raised prompted that voice in the back of my head to say, "Shut it down; it could go bad.
If you keep surrendering like that, eventually the other person buys. Over time I taught my husband that by merely furrowing his brow he could get me to back off my position. I was saying "I'm sorry" for even wanting to do something he didn't like. And once article source start that nonsense, the person whose pardon you are continuously begging begins to believe that you are, in fact, a perpetual problem.
By the time we were 19 years into our marriage he was all day, every day angry and I had lost all confidence in my home. I had paid for the peace I sought with my sense of self.
And he was getting to pick the restaurant at the cost of liking his wife. Of course, the hardest thing in the world for anyone to see is oneself. I didn't know all this was what we were doing until I stepped back from where we were and looked at it as if I were on the bench.
That's when I saw all of the small stupid Read more that landed us where we were. Since this is real life, my "aha moment" on the job didn't instantly lead to new and better.
In fact, I went home and started an argument that lasted for 18 months. But once I got past the anger I started to address my own fears and learned how to communicate effectively. He followed suit because he saw that I had changed in a way that was in his best interests.
It didn't feel like it at first, but eventually he got there. We then decided to fight the problem instead of fighting one another.
Of course, this does not guarantee we'll get to happily ever after. Marriage is quite the journey and things change all the time. But our marriage is better now because it is a mindful one. We keep an eye on our competing needs. We no longer act on that right-now feeling without considering long-term consequences.
'Your Twenties is for Firing Dudes Who Don't Act Right' -Divorce Court - Free Chatting Dating Site!
We have made a conscious decision to be consciously married. We also have our fingers crossed. Below, a photo of the couple. Judge Lynn Toler is the host of the nationally syndicated show "Divorce Court. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Go to mobile source.