The Truth About Herpes!
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20 Sep When she got to herpes she had a sort of "who gives a fuck" attitude. She just said " If you can see a sore you you can get it, if you don't then it's all good, and if your going to get something why not something that won't show up for years at a time?" I thought this was a really casual attitude but really when. 26 Sep Have a big question or situation you're wrestling with? Send us your question in the form at the bottom of this piece. Q: I've been seeing this girl and we've really been hitting it off. And then last night, she tells me she has herpes. Now, I'm freaking out. My head tells me to handle this like a mature gentleman. Then she starts talking about how crucial communication and honestly are for her , and I agree yes of course that is central. Long story short, she tells me "Adrian, I have genital herpes." She goes on to tell me about how it's "one of the most common" sexually transmitted infections, and that it isn't serious.
Woman I'm Dating Told Me She Has Genital Herpes Type 2
User Name Remember Me? I've been a user for a while. I do not want this post associated with my usual forums name So, about a month ago, I started dating a girl I met on a dating site.
We hit it off really well. We saw each other a few times, did some making out and groping, no sex; she said she wanted to wait until we loved each other. Last week, she was spending the night at my place and as we were getting to bed, she click that we needed to have a talk before things got any more serious, but it could wait till morning.
I coaxed her a bit, because I didn't want to be falling asleep making horrible speculations. She told me that when she was a teenager, she had a self-destructive period of drugs and careless sex during which she got infected with herpes. I comforted her, but told visit web page that I'd have to think about whether I could accept the risk.
Apparently, she got it about 7 years ago, and her outbreaks have been only one every 18 to 24 months. She's got no health insurance, so she can't get suppressive drugs, and I know that condoms aren't all that effective against herpes, though the risk is low, especially when it's in remission.
Significantly less if condoms are used, along with a carrageenan based lube. Prices for it via internet pharmacies are vaguely reasonable though the quality of goods is questionable. She said her last two boyfriends never showed any symptoms. I'm 24 though, and the prospect of being in her position, constantly feeling dirty and being rejected for the rest of my life horrifies me.
I'd probably be constantly paranoid about getting infected while with her. On the other hand, I really like her, and she seems like someone who I'd enjoy being with for a very long time. So, that leaves possibilities. Queue massive emotional breakdown and lifetime of regret. Last edited by anonymous; at Make an effort and if it doesn't work out, at least you won't be a jerk.
You appear to be well informed, which is good. The Girl Im Dating Just Told Me She Has Herpes to suppressive medication I feel would have provided a tad bit more security to the circumstances.
Tough call man, good luck and continue to communicate openly with her about your concerns. No offense, but you should give this chick a chance! The Girl Im Dating Just Told Me She Has Herpes
Everyone ok not really, but a startlingly huge amount has herpes, and only a small percentage are honest about it. Kudos to her, be careful and you'll be fine. If you give up on her chances are better than even that one of the next 4 girls you sleep with has herpes or worse, and she might not be so honest or informed. Her husband wasn't infected, but they had only been married a couple of years.
I have no idea if she was on suppressive drugs.
There is no rhyme or reason for herpes outbreaks. It can happen twice in a month, then not again for several years. So long as she knows when an outbreak is starting, you can either abstain till it passes or just be extra careful. I dated a woman with herpes many years ago. I never contracted the disease. She told me that sex was way too painful with the outbreak anyway. The herpes virus obviously can't be cured. The anti-virals used only help speed up the process so the outbreaks are shorter and less painful.
Guru Talk: Would You Continue To Date A Person With Herpes? - Hookup To Relationship!
In short, don't give up on her yet. So long as she is honest with you about the outbreaks, you should be fine.
The flip side is if you really can't handle the idea of her having herpes, tell her and end it now. It will only end poorly if you don't and thats not fair to either of you. Originally Posted by twistedmosaic. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. Couple things in your OP stood out to go here Quote:. Yeah, well, I picked it up somewhere along the way. The first year it was devastating.
Always dreading the part where I had to interrupt the hot-and-heavy to explain to her about my problem. They weren't pleasant, those times. After the first year, I had outbreaks maybe once in 12 months. Today-- 26 years later-- I hardly ever have outbreaks. I can't remember the last one. I warned my wife-to-be, and she wasn't scared off. I eventually gave it to her. We've been married 20 years.
Because I'm enjoying this game. Stressing out about Valentine's Day? What about all of the people who do not share your good fortune? I want to get in contact with her by tomorrow, the latest, but I'm unsure what to say. Thank you for your comments
Moral of the story? If yours is a nice girl and you like her, she may very well be worth it. Find out if there are any clinical trials testing medicine to prevent the spread of it.
Last edited by ASU; this web page Originally Posted by anonymous I do not want this post associated with my usual So, that leaves possibilities.
You should get the fuck out. Considering you've only been dating her a month, it just makes the whole situation seem like a bad idea. Make the safest choice for you. Does that make me gay? Same as the two dudes above me. If I found out that the chick I've been dating for a month had herpes, I'd be out.
Yeah, it would suck if I really liked her but I'd rather not date anybody with an STD that I have a risk of contracting for the rest of my life.
I loved reading this. The fact she gather enough courage to tell u, that in itself is a sign of a person with character and integrity. I am still not as upfront as I would like to be about it.
Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now.
Originally Posted by Apokx. I'm pretty sure the mortality rate for herpes is, um, somewhat low. The safest choice to prevent him from catching it.
Flu goes away in a week or two. The reason is far from ridiculous. Sex comes with consequences, friends. Sometimes there's a literal risk. Could see a future with her. She's clearly mature and stable enough to be up-front about this issue. That's something everyone would have to answer for themselves.
Mine would probably be yes. I'm not advocating he try to catch herpes, I'm saying that this is a pretty ridiculous reason to break up with someone. What if she had the flu? Dump her and get the fuck out?
Everyone he has sex The Girl Im Dating Just Told Me She Has Herpes in his whole life is capable of transmitting the STD known visit web page 'child support payments Asking for test results and showing yours in return solves the being upfront problem.
We live in scary times. There is a tone of favor in your options listed. Make a choice yourself based on how you will feel about it later after five or 10 years. If you are sure you will keep same stand and give her same respect and space they kudos go for it.
Originally Posted by LoganSnake. Last edited by telekinetic; at With All Your Base. Man, at least she told you first. I say if the potential for a relationship means enough to you, then you'll stick it out.
But, really, do you know how many people have herpes? Originally Posted by noodle. She sounds like a mature adult woman. I am sure that it took a lot for her to open up to you and let you know.